OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
