I could have mohawked her pubes.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
