mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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