names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
