so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
