don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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