using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You ruined the universe
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
