Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i dont even know how to be here
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
