Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
