Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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