i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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