Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
