i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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