using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
