Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
