Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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