ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
