I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
