dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
