so explain again why im purple
no
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
