Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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