Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
