I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
