Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
