I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
two words...techno handjob
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
