I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
