I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
