we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
