You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
