Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize