just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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