Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
