I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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