I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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