Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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