Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
