So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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