I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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