i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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