everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
