just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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