You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
