I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
