Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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