Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
