PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
