I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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