***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
