your parents love me but you hate me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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