wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
