I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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