oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
