Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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