His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
