Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
