Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
