Pants 0. Shit 1.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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