i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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