I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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