I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
