I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
not ubering you a puppy
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
