Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
