It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
