he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
