i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
