for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
