We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
