Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
