dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize