Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We were destined to go to rehab together
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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