You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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