Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
