omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
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