Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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