sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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